travel
boy oh boy has travel gotten so much easier than last i donned a backpack! when todd and i traveled in southern africa twenty years ago there was no internet and our decisions were made on the recommendations of our loney planet guidebook and word of mouth from other travelers. we carried a tent, sleeping bags and a stove so that we could always sleep wherever if needed. clearly this method wouldn't fly when traveling with kids. thankfully the internet made it all so easy! we still carried a guide book but in addition i read lots of blogs and reviews of everywhere we planned to go. i could book rooms at hostels ahead of time so when we arrived in a new place we didn't have to go door to door looking for a affordable place to sleep. i used hostelworld.com for most bookings but often the guidebooks will list an email address so i booked directly with hostels as well. any tours we planned to take i looked up on tripadvisor so i could research companies ahead of time. overland travel by bus is not online, but still relatively easy to navigate. we would typically show up at the bus station and figure out when the next bus leaves to our next destination. todd and i have tried and true roles. i am in the research department and todd is in the communication dept. meaning i figure where we need to go and he then executes the plan. its a pretty seamless system really.
marriage
todd and i met traveling and i gotta say we travel really really well together. the last time we traveled together was before we were married and we used it as a litmus test to see if we were a good match. this time around we are nearly 20 years into our relationship and 16 years into marriage, plus we had two kids in tow. the kids it turned out were the hardest part for us as a couple. since we were all together all the time it was really hard for todd and i to have even a conversation without little ears listening. we would make little inside jokes and the kids would want the whole exchange explained.....which makes it far less funny. we also all slept together most of the time so getting any privacy of any kind was challenging. outside of the kids we rocked it as a couple. we aren't the bickering type and we are almost always on the same page. so if our pre-marriage travels were a litmus test for marriage then these family travels have made us feel pretty solid going into the next 20yrs.
parenting
this was the most intensive period of parenting we have ever had. we were with our children constantly. we slept together, we ate together, we did everything together. no school, no work, no play dates, no piano or soccer practice. and though our kids are pretty good kids they are far from perfect. the behaviors that can easily be ignored at home were now in front of us constantly.
riley for example has a tendency to poke at his sister both physically and emotionally. he also has a hard time taking ownership of his behaviors. we worked hard on learning to say things such as 'i'm sorry i was wrong'.
lucy challenges everything and often the first word out of her mouth is 'no'. additionally she frequently uses a tone that comes across as disrespectful. we worked hard on using a respectful voice and pausing to think about what was said or asked before automatically saying 'no'.
we had a few family meetings along the way to air out grievances which helped. todd and i were far from perfect parents and we would lose patience and snap at the kids. sometimes (gasp!) yell at them. todd learned that he was often a better parent if he didn't say anything which riley promptly agreed with. lessons were learned and hopefully we brought back more mature children and more patient parents!!
siblings
the kids bonded with each other huge! they were all each other had the whole time. that doesn't mean our trip was free of sibling squabbling (far from it) but they did learn to figure stuff out, to compromise and take turns. overall they enjoyed being together. many many times people would comment on how well they got along, and how much fun they were having together. i hope they are able to preserve this feeling of closeness going forward into the teenage years.
family
what a super special period of time for us as a family! as much as being together all the time had some challenges we all truly loved being together. that experience bonded us together in ways i hope will last a lifetime (or at least help us through the teenage years). i was aware of the uniqueness of the time together and tried to savor all the moments. it wasn't only sunshine and roses but i can honestly say we had so much fun together. both todd and i really enjoy being with riley and lucy and they (at least so far) love to be with us too. we recently went for a family walk here in our home town and all of us were immediately cognizant of how much we missed just walking together and being together. life at home as already started to feel busier than we would like, but we are holding on tight to our family.
this has been the most amazing adventure. it was a dream for so so long and now it is a collections of wonderful memories. traveling with kids was not nearly as hard as i thought it might be and well worth the effort. i selfishly hope both my kids have been infected with wanderlust so that i might follow them on their travels someday. and if any of you out there are reading this blog and wondering if you can too can travel with your kids, i say go for it!! it will be an experience you will never forget and it will enrich your family in ways you can't predict!
thank you for following along on our journey. after this post i will convert this blog back to our plain old family blog. you are welcome to continue to follow along but it probably won't be nearly as interesting.
hasta luego!
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